For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
