it was like fucking gandolphs beard
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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