apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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