This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
