I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
