you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
