i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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