just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You ate ashes out of my bong
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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