I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm too high and old for this...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
