Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize