is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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