Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
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