I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
