I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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