She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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