no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize