P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
