these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize