don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
