Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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