Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
