If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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