Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.

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(909): I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part. http://tfl.nu/wibn

Replies (14) Good night (4483) Bad night (522)
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(817): View more from Texas

I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?

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(817): I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf? http://tfl.nu/ht45

Replies (15) Good night (3960) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.

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(917): Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof. http://tfl.nu/i13l

Replies (13) Good night (4284) Bad night (1583)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.

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(618): Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly. http://tfl.nu/ma4l

Replies (2) Good night (1973) Bad night (1937) Order T-Shirt
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.

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(918): like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness. http://tfl.nu/c3xi

Replies (7) Good night (1262) Bad night (653)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis

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(402): Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis http://tfl.nu/hhal

Replies (11) Good night (591) Bad night (1021)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.

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(318): They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it. http://tfl.nu/p3lc

Replies (8) Good night (3041) Bad night (443)
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(517): View more from Michigan

She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.

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(517): She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free. http://tfl.nu/s0d6

Replies (1) Good night (878) Bad night (367) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.

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(603): He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring. http://tfl.nu/jkgq

Replies (7) Good night (557) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.

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(+44): Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me. http://tfl.nu/v4al

Replies (3) Good night (1009) Bad night (299) Order T-Shirt
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(937): View more from Ohio

Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.

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(937): Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me. http://tfl.nu/hltr

Replies (16) Good night (720) Bad night (1348) Order T-Shirt
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat

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(608): Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles? (1-608): Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat http://tfl.nu/wmfp

Replies (3) Good night (556) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x

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(+44): No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x http://tfl.nu/ydw7

Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (327)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with

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(618): Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with http://tfl.nu/wwss

Replies (4) Good night (1038) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.

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(603): I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy. http://tfl.nu/wb79

Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (405)

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