Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."