I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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