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• (310): View more from California

  Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  True on all accounts.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.

  (896): View more from

  That actually is really sweet of you

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."

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