Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
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You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
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was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.