Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n

(559): View more from California

sry, psychiatrist trumps professor

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(314): View more from Missouri

He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.

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(613): View more from Ontario

We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.

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(816): View more from Missouri

He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(623): View more from Arizona

Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?

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(206): View more from Washington

Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?

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(561): View more from Florida

We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?

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(210): View more from Texas

We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.

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(303): View more from Colorado

the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.

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