Sry I called you an 8
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"