So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Be still, my beating vagina.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You made out with two different species that night
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live