i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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