Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize