Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She announced her abortion via fbk
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
