i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
