from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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