my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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