they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
