He is an equal opportunity slut.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
