Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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