You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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