i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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