I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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