Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Panties = found
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