Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
