im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
