Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
