Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
