we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
whose parrot is this?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
