you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
