sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
