Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
