the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
