Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
