I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize