Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
