Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
