she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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