he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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