I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
