theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just forgot I was standing up.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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