people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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