# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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