Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
