i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
