I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
