Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
