Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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