I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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