Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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