bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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