yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
