It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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