soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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