I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
