somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
